Maintaining Balance With Partnership and Caregiving for Your Spouse
So much can change for you and your partner throughout your marriage, and receiving a life-changing diagnosis can alter the course you had planned. When your spouse has a memory-related disease like dementia or Alzheimer’s, it leaves noticeable effects on your relationship, including:
- Setting aside your own social, emotional, medical, physical health, and personal needs to focus on theirs
- A fluctuation or lack of intimacy and communication
- Uneven roles and responsibilities
If you find yourself in the roles of spouse and caregiver, keep in mind the following tips to create balance for yourself.
Adjust Expectations and Division of Labor
The first step on your journey is accepting the new path you and your spouse are embarking on. From there, you can look at things from a logistical standpoint when redirecting chores, tasks, and responsibilities. You both want your partner to maintain as much independence as possible and dividing the labor in a new way will allow them to remain involved.
Create a Care Plan
You may find the new workload for you is more than you’re comfortable with, and your plans for the future don’t look as doable now. For long-term plans, consider assisted living options or home health aides that support your partner and allow you to have some freedom while spending quality time together.
Seek Support and Avoid Isolation
When your spouse has been the person you go to for everything and can no longer communicate on that same level, you might feel isolated and alone. Find a confidant in friends, family, or neighbors that you trust and share what’s happening in your life. That includes asking for help when you’re in need. You can also reach out to support groups of caregivers in similar situations.
Celebrate Yourself
Don’t forget yourself on this journey! You might have two roles as a caregiver and spouse, but you can’t neglect your own health and happiness. Find time to exercise, partake in self-care, enjoy hobbies, and connect with friends and family.
Maintain Healthy Communication
You still want to be able to talk with your spouse. There may be times when you need to have more in-depth or uncomfortable conversations. Remember to be firm and assertive with healthy boundaries while maintaining open and truthful communication. If you find difficulty in resolving conflicts, consider bringing in a professional counselor for assistance.
Something Old, Something New
A unique opportunity lies before you to keep to important routines and memories for the sake of your spouse’s capabilities while finding ways to bring new and beautiful things into your relationship. Spark joy in your relationship by doing new things you two have never done or showing your spouse you love them in ways you haven’t before. This could be writing letters, playing games, taking up dancing, and making dinner.
Further Consideration
Sometimes, it’s hard to juggle both roles as partner and caretaker. Here are some signs to step back from caregiving for your spouse and get professional help:
- Feeling resentful or angry about your spouse or situation
- Increased anxiety and irritability
- Ignoring your own health needs and losing interest in hobbies
- Abusing substances or wanting to self-harm
- Isolating from friends and family
- Loss of appetite, sleep, and connection
Consider an assisted living community to provide a new beneficial dynamic for both of you, where your spouse can receive the healthcare they need and the stress-free quality time they enjoy with you.
Learn more about your options for memory care with individualized resources based on your needs through our 5-minute survey powered by Roobrik here.
At Life Enriching Communities (LEC), we’re committed to ensuring patrons feel well-equipped to plan their future and age how they wish. Explore more resources on senior living or contact us today to learn more about our legacy of services and programs that bring meaning and purpose to every stage of life.