How to Cope After the Death of a Spouse and Living with Grief
The death of a spouse is a devastating experience, but as we move through life it is an unfortunate reality. Grief takes both a physical and emotional toll on those who suffer from it, however, it is a normal reaction to these kinds of changes in your life. But just because it is normal and sometimes expected, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Fortunately, there are some strategies you can use to make the grieving process easier.
The Death of a Spouse and the Grieving Process
Grieving is a difficult process and everyone does it differently. Try not to compare yourself with how you perceive others to be coping. Not only does this not serve you, but others may be struggling in ways harder to perceive. Here are some coping strategies to find your way to peace.
Discuss Your Loss with Others
Your friends and family might hesitate to bring up your loss for fear of upsetting you. However, many grieving people find the opposite to be true. Being able to talk about your loss with others is part of the healing process and you should not shy away from the topic for fear of making people uncomfortable. The idea that your spouse may be forgotten if you don’t talk about them can be traumatic.
Don’t wait for people to talk about your spouse, speak from your heart and share memories and feelings with your support group. Honor their birthdays, anniversaries, and other important moments you shared. This can help you heal and try to move forward with your life. The key is not to become socially isolated, as this can have an effect on your body and mind.
Accept Uncertainty
Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions, especially if you took on the role of caregiver. Oftentimes, you may begin to feel better only to have something trigger a memory and bring it all rushing back. By accepting the idea that grieving isn’t done all at once, you’ll be better prepared for the unexpected triggers that may affect you. It can help to keep a journal of your experience to track your progress through the grieving process.
Take Your Time
The best thing you can do to cope is to let yourself feel your feelings without judgment. If you need to cry then do it, if you are feeling angry know that it is a normal reaction. The idea that resisting your feelings is the appropriate course of action is the only unhealthy way to feel. Just remember that accepting how you feel takes some time. Allow yourself some grace and try to recognize your emotions as you feel them. This will help with identifying what you feel so you can express it to your support network.
Trust Your Coping Mechanisms
Think about the coping mechanisms you use every day when you are upset or stressed. You may exercise or knit, for example. Start with these when you are facing moments of grief and see if these well-worn strategies work for your current situation. It might seem trivial when dealing with a great loss, however, they might just be what your brain and body need to relax.
Join a Support Group
You can make deep connections in a support group with people that have experienced similar things. By participating in a support group, you will realize you aren’t alone in your grief. You will sit with others experiencing the effects of grief with the same tears, difficulty sleeping, sleeping too much, and so forth.
Support groups may be online or in person and are often offered by religious institutions, hospitals, and community centers. To find one only takes a simple Google search.
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