Navigating Role Reversal With Aging Parents

Blog Category: Lifestyle

We assume our roles as children and parents will always stay the same no matter how old we get. As we age, our loved ones may need us to step in as caregivers, and it’s important to know how to handle this role reversal.

What is Parentification

Parentification is the role reversal of parent and child that often occurs when the parent needs their child to care for them as they age. This is due to changes in health or level of independence, which can be affected by cognitive impairments like Alzheimer’s or dementia. There are two types of parentification: emotional and instrumental.

Emotional Parentification is when the adult child fulfills their loved one’s emotional and psychological needs, such as being their comforter, confidant, and mediator for conflicts. Signs of emotional parentification may include feeling:

  • Responsibility for their loved one’s well-being
  • Anxiety, depression, and stress over their standards of fulfilling their role
  • Guilt for not meeting their loved one’s emotional needs

Instrumental Parentification is when the adult child handles their loved one’s activities of daily living (ADLs), such as cooking, cleaning, and managing finances. Signs of instrumental parentification may include:

  • Sacrificing their needs and life pursuits to prioritize their loved one
  • Difficulty maintaining a social life as their time has to go towards supporting their loved one
  • Experiencing caregiver burnout due to the new demands of their role

Challenges of Parentification

Spousal caregivers go through very similar changes in dynamics, but adult children have a more taxing transition. Caregivers experiencing role reversal from parentification will have to take on new responsibilities and challenges, such as:

  • Advocating on behalf of their loved one
  • Chauffeuring for their loved one to uphold older driver safety
  • Financial strain to support themselves as well as their loved one’s needs
  • Handling ADLs like dressing, feeding, and hygiene
  • Juggling work and personal life with caregiving for their loved one
  • Lack of privacy if their loved one is living at home with them
  • Legal matters that determine their loved one’s assets and security
  • Less time to practice self-care and do the things they love
  • Navigating the hassles of traveling and vacationing
  • Stress from prioritizing their loved one’s needs above their own
  • Timing everything right to manage sundowning

How to Navigate the Role Reversal

Though it may be hard to adjust to the new normal of role reversal, there are simple ways to make the transition easier and maintain a strong relationship:

  • Acknowledge the emotional impact and grieve the change in dynamics
  • Connect with them through whatever means is accessible and enjoyable for everyone
  • Discuss expectations and establish clear boundaries
  • Follow empathetic communication methods
  • Utilize resources and tools to better handle the new caregiver role

Explore options to find the right fit for your loved one here.

At Life Enriching Communities (LEC), we’re committed to ensuring patrons feel well-equipped to plan their future and age how they wish. Explore more resources on senior living or contact us today to learn more about our legacy of services and programs that bring meaning and purpose to every stage of life.